Work has swamped me so here’s a guest post from the wonderful Brian who you can find on @Arsenal627
Psychologists and scientists are excited about the beginnings of a newly identified neurological disorder. Case studies are being rapidly started to understand the severity and possible cures for this new condition. Fascinatingly, there are zero cases reported for this in England leading researchers to initially label it FASID which is short for Foreign Arsenal Supporter Inferiority Disorder. It seems to only affect those fans of Arsenal who live outside of England but there have been rumors of cases inside England. Those are unconfirmed at the time of this writing.
Symptoms of FASID include any or all of the following:
1) An intense desire to overcompensate with facts and figures about Arsenal
2) CCing so called “big” Twitter accounts on every tweet you write to somehow gain acceptance into a recognized and respected circle of Arsenal supporters
3) Creating a blog to completely overanalyze every tactical aspect of every match. Begging English experts to help with blog ideas.
4) Creating a podcast and inviting acknowledged English Arsenal pundits but overtalking them when they are on to make yourself the central focus of said podcast.
5) Quickly adapting your view of Arsenal depending on the prevailing opinions of English Arsenal supporters. A chameleon like adaptability.
Researchers have come up with a working theory about the root causes of the phenomena. They believe that those suffering from FASID developed the disorder by experiencing an intense feeling of inferiority to and sometimes even caused by Arsenal supporters in England. This leads them to fixate and become obsessed with trying to prove themselves somehow worthy of some illusion of “true” Arsenal supporter-ship. So far most cases are being reported in the U.S. but there are others being reported sparingly elsewhere.
Different cures are being tried with little to no success so far. Leading psychologists believe this is due to the sufferers unwillingness to accept that there is no way to truly qualify being an Arsenal supporter. They also believe that there are still supporters in England who exacerbate the problem by labeling non match attenders as “muppets”. This only sends the sufferer into a rage of self righteous tweets and blogs about how much of a fan they are. This in turn sends the FASID patient deeper into their obsession to somehow prove they belong. Much like any obsession, admitting one has FASID is a great first step to recovery. Researchers are seeing great progress in patients who finally realize that simply “supporting” Arsenal is good enough. There are no “levels” of supporter-ship. There is no upper echelon of fans. Arsenal is a worldwide family whose common bond is support.
If you know someone who is showing symptoms of FASID please implore them to seek professional help. A hotline has been created to help those affected by this disorder. If you need help please call 1-8SP-URS-SUCK. Together we can cure this. And as always, North London is Red!!!!